You hide, too, don't you? Don't be ashamed. We all do it. I do it all the time.
You hide because you're afraid. You hide because you think God shouldn't see that part of you. You hide because the Devil has convinced you that God doesn't WANT to see that part of you, that you are unworthy of love, that God will not miss you.
Our hearts are easily buried behind walls that we construct out of the Devil's lies. You are not worthy of love. You are alone. Nobody cares. You aren't skinny enough. You aren't smart enough. You aren't athletic enough. You aren't GOOD enough.
We present a facade that we are okay when in reality, our true selves are buried beneath walls that trap us and make us believe we will never escape.
"And where is God?" we wonder. "Why has he buried me? Why has He forgotten me?"
The truth is, if anything, we have buried ourselves. We have hidden ourselves the moment we believe Satan's lies, the moment we accept that we are not enough, that God does not care for us, that God has cast us aside and labelled us as unworthy.
God is still there. God has not forgotten us. He is there pursuing us as we constantly block ourselves off from Him, and shut away our true selves. We ask ourselves why He has not freed us. "If He is all powerful, can't he help us?"
He can. But if we want Him to free us from the confines of these walls, we must free ourselves. We must believe Him when He says to us, "Fear not, for I have called you by name. You are mine...you are precious in my eyes and I love you." He actually says that. Look at Isaiah 43 if you don't believe it. He said it in the past, says it today, and will say it--to YOU--forever.
St. Augustine once said, "God loves each of us as if there were only one of us." This message of love is both universal and unique. God has called YOU by name. And we each have different names and different places in God's eternal heart. No matter what, He speaks these words to you. YOU are precious and He loves YOU, just as His Father loved Him (John 15:9).
You must believe these words when you hear them. You must constantly choose to remove your walls, to remove your weaknesses that keep you rooted in sin instead of rooted in Him. You may think you are secure behind your walls where nothing can hurt you but yourself. You may have accepted long ago that living behind walls was just the way life had to be, that you had to hide and present a mask, a facade, to God and to others. But the thing is that you must be willing to take the risk of opening up if you want God back in your life. You must stand up and tear down the walls that have been cemented into your mind through sin. You must tear down your false notions of beauty, worth, and love.
God has called you by name. You are precious to Him and HE LOVES YOU. He is calling you, but you can't answer, let alone HEAR him, because of your sound-proof, light-proof, walls.
He has not abandoned you. He is knocking on your door, but your walls are too thick for you to hear Him. So tear them down. Let your prayers penetrate these walls. They're getting through, even if you don't hear God's response through the walls. It won't be easy. You will need to put your blood, sweat, and tears into destroying them. And you will not emerge from the rubble without scars. But it will be worth it when you finally find the breath you've been searching for, the light you have been blind to, and the knock you have gone so long without hearing. After all, it was there all along.
If you're behind walls now, it's still there. This wonderful life God has in store is just outside your reach. God is waiting eagerly for the moment you decide to choose Him, the moment you decide to tear down your walls.